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Recording XA-5072 and Log 00110101
Click here for the corresponding event blog. Within gnomish databanks is a network that holds most of its society's knowledge. Encoded binary logs are available for most scientists, though accessibility to these networks has been somewhat limited since Gnomeregan's fall. Still, the databanks survive, and both scientific and political additions continue to be contributed, adding to the long and technological history of the gnomish people. *'Recording XA-5072' is an audio recording by engineer Finkle H. Scrogfuze, and the attached footnote sheds some light on his subject: a speech delivery at a brief scientific conference regarding the nature of gnomish leprosy, irradiation, its effects, and a possible cure. *'Log 00110101' is for all intents and purposes an advertisement, albeit informative. Closer inspection reveals that it was designed to be and was printed as a pamphlet, distributed on the evening of the conference. It sheds light on the topics of irradiation and credits the contributions made by numerous scientists to this extent. Recording XA-5072 '-----RECORDING BEGIN----' (There is slight microphone static before the speech begins. Now with clarity.) "Salutations, my fellow Alliance compatriots, colleagues and friends." Some if not all of you are familiar with this little quote that is very becoming for my own personal, spoken introductions. So foremost, greetings to all and I thank you for coming! My name is Finkle Scrogfuze. Beside me on the stage are my lab assistants, without whom this research would have been impossible. I owe them my undying thanks, and they deserve special recognition for their endeavors. From your left-to-right, they are: Clargus Sparkbucket, Chela Bluebolt, Bimble Cogspark, and Tegul Coldwrench! Additionally, my gratitude extends to Mr. Twistwrench and the good gnomes of S.A.F.E., who work daily to secure our very people from within and out of Gnomeregan. For without everyone's combined efforts none of this would have been possible—that is, the ongoing research into gnomish leprosy and a possible cure. Allow me to be the first tonight to inform you that advances in technology denote a possibility! As many of you are aware, discombobulation is the process of turning leper, from intense and prolonged exposure to radiation. It has been the goal of our people for several decades since to recombobulate, or revert, these gnomes from this state. Advances in the field of recombobulation have been gracious though few to our people. Originally the fallout from within Gnomeregan was thought to be the missing ingredient; the chemical "X", if you will. There is currently no supplement to this claim. (Pause.) ''Consequently, we sought to expand our horizons - that is, my team and I - to uncover the true nature of the irradiation and a probable lead to curing its disastrous effects. This did involve, of course, procuring a pure radioactive sample for study. The adverse effects of irradiation are both disturbing and perplexing, as we understand it today: bloated skin, gangrene, dilution of eye color. Above all, insanity. Unfortunately, studying radioactive samples only confirmed what modern medicine knows. And so the search continued. This time, we turned our attention to decontamination; the process of ridding oneself of any lingering radiation and its immediate effects. S.A.F.E. was very co-operative in this department and we thank them for it greatly! Yet, while indeed we were able to cure immediate irradiation symptoms, the technology was simply insufficient, despite our modifications and tests. Our leper gnome "assistant" did express fear at having his skin scrubbed by S.A.F.E.'s devices, however. (''Pause.) ''Though I digress, we were nothing short of inspired by our experiments! We quickly began work on our own device which would cure not only irradiation, but leprosy itself ''and its corresponding symptoms: all of them, I might add. In a moment I will turn the stage over to my assistants who will take questions regarding this device. However many of you are aware, I should think, that this research is not entirely complete and the device unfinished. We are missing one ingredient. It was not until recently that I had an epiphany: would you believe, the missing part of the equation to our device, is in my very workshop within Gnomeregan? Its recovery is imperative to our research, and so now I will allow my colleagues to take open questions from the audience and afterwards I will speak to any who would like to volunteer themselves to brave Gnomeregan's depths and retrieve this tool! Thank you very much for your time, everyone! (The microphone cuts off, and the recording ends several seconds later.) '-----RECORDING END-----' Log 00110101 '-----BEGIN LOG-----' Leprosy: The Gnome Story Table of Contents I. Prologue II. Meet Our Team III. Feats in Recombobulation IV. A Leprous Vocabulary: Voice Yourself! V. Epilogue I. Prologue Dear Reader, Salutations and thank you for attending tonight's presentation! This pamphlet, while extremely informative by itself, will serve as your guide during the evening's conference. Within its categories are listed the numerous researchers who have contributed to curing leprosy and the technology employed in their studies. You will also find a disambiguation page located in Article IV that provides clear definitions for medical terminology related to leprosy. If you would like to make a donation or help the cure, please contact S.A.F.E.'s Affair's office. We hope you may find and share the same exuberance after tonight's conference that all of us share and that afterwards you may contribute in your own manner to the greater good of the Alliance and its peoples. Sincerely the team, Finkle Scrogfuze, Clargus Sparkbucket, Tegul Coldwrench, Bimble Cogspark, and Chela Bluebolt II. Meet Our Team These are the short autobiographies provided by everyone on our team. They have all been invaluable to our research. Our thanks extends to each other infinitely! Finkle Scrogfuze, Chief Researcher & Engineer Finkle H. Scrogfuze is an engineer, often regarded by his peers as a master at this art, and has instructed several pupils in his long lifetime, spanning 185 years. He has patented several inventions, including the gnomish bed-warmer run on a low battery, which was used to help keep him and others warm inside of Gnomeregan after the radiation flooding. For 20 years Finkle was holed up with others in Gnomeregan until his fortunate rescue by S.A.F.E., and ever since he has endeavored to cure leprosy once and for all. He was married and had a child until the fallout; the current state of both his wife and son is unknown though he continues to try and locate and, if possible, rescue them. Clargus Sparkbucket, Assistant Director The right-hand man on the team, Clargus Sparkbucket was born just over a century ago and even for a middle-aged gnome demonstrates much learned capability beyond his years. He is humble and friendly, though takes much pride in his work, which usually involves procuring and studying sample and advising the team. He avidly believes that leprosy is not irreversible, and wishes to see Gnomeregan and its lost people reclaimed. Bimble Cogspark, Engineering Expert Bimble "Eureka" Cogspark has always loved to tinker! Anything the team needs assistance with, be it a loose screw or defining schematics, and if it involves a machine, a bolt, and a wrench, he is the man for the job. He was fortunate enough to avoid the fallout but lost much of his family. He shares the team's ideals of restoring Gnomeregan and everyone's families, and is determined to see his work through. Chela Bluebolt, Alchemical Expert Chela Bluebolt is a professional alchemist and the team's "get-it-done" girl. She has been invaluable to the study of radioactive fallout samples and has spearheaded many efforts to help develop a solid cure for leprosy. She, too, was trapped in Gnomeregan when the fallout flooded its hallways, but managed to evade leprosy and insanity. No matter the outcome of this latest experiment, she intends to continue research on irradiation to ensure that nothing like this may ever happen again. Tegul Coldwrench, Assistant Tegul Coldwrench is a promising young gnome whose determination is nearly unprecedented. He was studying to become an engineer before the radiation but now offers his services to the team with whatever they need. He has become a considerable lab partner who, during his time, has come to understand much of leprosy and science itself and is a welcome addition to the team. Like many others, he lost much 20 years ago, but he believes that with the proper application a cure can be developed. III. Feats in Recombobulation Ever since Gnomeregan twenty years ago experienced massive radiation flooding and became uninhabitable in all but the smallest of pockets, many brilliant minds have attempted to create a cure for the deadly disease that accompanies long-term exposure to radiation: leprosy. This field of study became known as recombobulation (see Article IV) and we would like to credit those who continue to research the cure to this day. Ozzie Togglevolt & Lazlo Grindwidget ''Ozzie Togglevolt, inventor of the first known recombobulator, a machine designed to cure leper gnomes of their disease, has spearheaded the field of recombobulation and given us a base in modern research into it today. His assistant, Lazlo Grindwidget, helps him currently. ''Nevin Twistwrench Commander of S.A.F.E., his organization has developed the decontamination process, for which we are immensely grateful. Without Mr. Twistwrench and S.A.F.E., Gnomeregan would be a much harsher place. The High Tinker salutes S.A.F.E.! IV. A Leprous Vocabulary: Voice Yourself! We've provided a full list of the most up-to-date terminology involving the study of gnomish leprosy. Take a gander, and see how many of these words you're familiar with: discombobulate, v. - to turn leper and experience loss of sanity. recombobulate, v. - to revert oneself from leprosy and return to normal; ideally restoring one's sanity in the process. decontaminate, v. - the process of removing the immediate effects of irradiation symptoms from oneself, often involving complicated technologies. gangrene, n. - deathly soft tissue, or skin, a common symptom of long-term irradiation. fallout, n. - settling radiation, once spewed forth from toxic ventilations until it flooded all of Gnomeregan's hallways. V. Epilogue It is my sincerest wish that by now you've learned a thing or two about the goals many gnomes across Khaz Modan share. We all have a common dream, that of finally procuring the means to save our home and people. The cure has not been won yet, but I believe I may have found a potential lead, as so many of our other colleagues have in their inventions such as the Recombobulator, or the Decontaminator. Following tonight's Questions & Answers demonstration I will speak with brave volunteers who are interested in aiding the gnomish cause, and perhaps we will taste more than a glimmer at resolving the gnome's problems once and for all. Gnomeregan will be liberated from Thermaplugg, but it is my desire, my wish, that when that time comes, we will be able to provide our brethren with a cure and rehabilitation. ''--Finkle H. Scrogfuze'' '-----END LOG-----' Category:Gnome Category:Binary Category:Event